live by the sun, love by the moon

This was the best thing I have read all day. Thanks, Mike.

Julie youre never retarded for saying what ya feel, i promise. And dont apologize for it either. Thats really awesome that you want to grow so much in your walk with God.. People raised in church tend to take that desire for granted unfortunately.. What ya gotta remember is none of us are perfect.. And God knows that.. But He wants us to strive to be.. We should never be content with where were at spiritually. We can and should always improve. That feeling you have… Its conviction.. Its a good thing.. That means God is truly trying to get your attention. Its the holy spirit in you saying no to what your body flesh wants.. We all fall short to Gods glory one way or another. Some
Its lying, others sex outside of marriage, etc etc. but what sets christians apart is not their ability to be perfect/not sin at all.. Its their ability to get back up after falling.. Its that hunger to be better. I was reading in psalms the other day and it said “the just man falleth seven times but rises again, but the wicked fall into deceit and mischief.” we are gonna mess up.. We have to pray and truly ask for forgiveness, and then start over. The bible says “his mercies are new every morning, his grace is sufficient each day.” God will only stop forgiving you when you stop asking for forgiveness.. We dont deserve it all, yet he gives it. Thats what separates his perfect love from our humanistic love. Prayer is essential to growth. When it comes to anything, to what career to pursue to who to date, bathe it in prayer! So with you looking for a church, bathe it in prayer. Every day ask God to lead you to the church He wants you to be at. He will guide you. God will never guide you outside of where He wants you to be. The question then becomes are you were you should be? Just keep trying to grow. One day at a time. “how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” (that quote doesnt make sense simply because nobody eats elephants but whatever) I love ya julie and im praying for ya  

Sex.

I am struggling with tempation so bad. I used to have sex, and i got used and abused and I didn’t want it anymore. I don’t want to have sex until God sends me that man im supposed to be with. I want to have sex when it’s right, and I pray everyday that I have the power to stay pure until marriage. Although I will never be physically pure again, I want to start over. I want to wait. But dang, it is so hard.

I am getting attention from all these attractive men and it’s so difficult not to have sex. I haven’t, yet. But, I’m so scared that I will give in. But no man deserves it but my husband! I need to constantly remind myself of that. I pray that God can give me the strength to keep my word to him. I pray that I will no longer have the want for attention, I want to be okay with patiently waiting for the husband that he has picked out for me. I just feel so weak. Like I cant do it. Or since I have had sex in the past I think “why should I even bother trying to be pure when I never will be again?” But I know that God knows im trying so hard to live for him, he knows I want to be pure for him. So in his eyes, I believe that he is proud of me. I just don’t want to let him down, or myself down. 

I sin enough as it is, and I can’t help that. We are all sinners and forever will sin each and every day. But I want to try my best to live the way he wants me to be. To be that proverbs 31 woman. I’m really scared that I just dont have the capability to be that way.

Please pray for me?

Last night..

God was watching out for me.

A few friends and I were on our way to the stonewall (club) as the driver threw a ciggerette out of the window we get pulled over for littering.

Well, the cop was shining flashlights in the car and asked us to get out, and found the drivers marijuana pipe and marijuana.

It was hers. But there I am watching her fail a sobriety test and get put in handcuffs and arrested for driving under the influence.

This is such a learning experience for me. Even though I didn’t get into any trouble it reminds me that I need to be careful with WHO i drive with and what is in the car! This just makes me want to stop partying even more.

It’s a shame that this has to happen for me to realize this.